So last Wednesday, I came into work and started on my typical analysis that I do for the end of the month (sales stats, consultant activity rates, scanning numbers, etc). At about 4:30 my boss came to my cubicle, barely peering over the edge, and asked what I was doing. I told him, and he then said "Well..... finish up that report and come meet me in the conference room."
There are very few things an average person wants to hear less than your boss say "Meet me in "X" room, alone."
Some of them include
- Shark! (when you nicked yourself shaving)
- Fire! (in a crowded theater)
- "you're great guy.....but" because, let's face it..... all great guys have BIG buts
So I went into the conference room where I was met by my boss and the HR rep (always a great sign). As you may be able to tell.... I was laid off. for "budgetary reasons" Mind you, I did get a small (itzy bitzy) severance package, but it was a complete shock to me. I worked at this company for the last 3.5 years, and had graduated college in the meantime. I had implemented improved sales tracking methodology, better return policies and worked several weekends.... Guess that's what you can expect from corporate America kiddos.....
So.... that leaves us here.... I have a goal.. get a new job before the toilet paper pack we bought a week ago runs out. Luckily, this is a big pack of TP we are talking about. One of those 24 roll mega packs you can get at Walmart. Upcoming is math, so for all of you in the blogosphere that hate math, look away
TP currently in bathrooms = 6 rolls
TP currently in cabinet = 17 rolls
TP use in typical week = 2 /week
That gives me 10 weeks (any bowel issues by either myself or my wife notwithstanding)
So here's what you can expect.... I will update the blog with places I submit my resume to on a daily basis. This will keep me motivated and help you guys know what I am doing. I will also try to put my own humor into the situation and give you links to an unbelievable news story every day. Cause, let's face it peeps, we all need some laughs at a time like this.
